Monday, March 19, 2012

"We just have to be the adults we hope they grow up to be."

I just watched two fascinating, motivating talks by Brené Brown.
Apparently Dr. Brown's December, 2010 talk went viral, but I was pretty much immune from the pull of the internet at that time, being fully pulled by my career, so I'm grateful to NorCal Katie for posting Dr. Brown's latest talk.
Dr. Brown's research led her to an unexpected -- and initially unwanted -- discovery about the power of vulnerability. Based on her research, her advice is to let ourselves be fully seen; to love fully; to practice gratitude and joy, even in the face of insecurity; and to believe that we are enough. That dry summary is a tiny hint of Dr. Brown's findings shared in her engaging 2010 talk.
This month Dr. Brown gave another talk, Listening to Shame, preceded by a Q&A, Being vulnerable about vulnerability; Q&A with Brené Brown.
Dr. Brown's findings are both inspiring and challenging. Daring to be vulnerable may be valuable, but it isn't easy. So, as a parent, I was particularly moved by Dr. Brown's comment at the conclusion of the Q&A:
You can’t raise children who have more shame resilience than you do. Because even if you don’t shame them, and even if you are actively trying to raise them feeling good about who they are, they’re never going to treat themselves better than you treat yourself. ... We can’t give children what we don’t have. We just have to be the adults we hope they grow up to be.

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